Sometimes as a stay at home Mom, I get so focused on all the things I am NOT doing or getting done. My lists are long. It is easy to lose perspective and to let lies creep into the mind. I get caught up in others people's blogs or facebook posts... you know the ones where everything just always seems hunky dory. It leaves me wondering if I am the only mom out there who doesn't have a perfect child. I don't know... it is always my goal to be real and open. That's just who I am. I have always hated fakeness (if that is a word?) and I am completely turned off by those who put on shows.So, I talk about the ugly days and I talk about those perfect days too.
I had a friend say the reason she doesn't have a blog is because she didn't want to be like "hey, look at my life". If my blog ever turns into that, then it has lost its purpose. AND just for the record... I am not saying that people who only post the good things are fake or lying about their life. I just appreciate the not so happy ones because let's face it... that's real life.
Anyway... (back on track) today was rough. Addi has been really fussy and annoyingly clingy. She had two more teething coming in, but I think they have already poked through. All she wants to do is nurse, nurse, nurse (while I am trying to begin the weaning process). When she isn't attached to my boob(sorry)she wants to be constantly held. Which would be fine if I had nothing else to do. So, being the wonderful mother that I am, I got mad and frustrated at her and in return she screamed and threw a fit at me. Where does that leave us? Two angry and senile people forced to spend the day together. Unfortunately, Addi can get away with this a little bit easier, considering she is a 10 month old. I, on the other hand, am a 25 year old mother.... who really has no excuse. So in a cry of desperation and help, I finally just yelled out, "LORD!?" Thankfully that is all I have to say and he gets it. Not like when I yell out, "ANDY" and he is like "What?!?!?!" (It's good to have an all knowing God.... and probably good that I don't have an all knowing husband)
I can't say that calm immediately poured over me like a waterfall(insert sarcastic voice...would that be considered mocking God?) and things were great again, but slowly peace returned. I got refocused and moved forward. I can sit here and say that I am honestly thankful for the opportunity to stay at home with my sweet girl and that I have a loving and patient husband. God is good and moments like these are great learning opportunities for me.I think all mom's who are home with their children all day have day's like these ..... unfortunately... I don't know any around here. So, if you are a mom that is shouting "Amen" just be kind and leave me a comment so I know I am not alone. However, I will be rather depressed if I find no comments...my suspensions will be made true.
haha...I am posting on my own blog. Giving myself encouragement. No, I really wanted to say that the title is supposed to be "Rambling" and I am aware of other mistakes, but my blog keeps freezing and I can't fix anything. Not that there is anything new with me mispelling, misplacing commas, and other forms of English rules that I was never taught or don't remember..
ReplyDelete1. you look HOT in that picture.. but you probably know that ;)
ReplyDelete2. one day you will miss her wanting to nurse... mark my words.. and you will always remember the times you said no and got frustrated for her wanting more of you but you will NOT remember whatever it is you were trying to get done
3. blogs grow and change like people... right now mine is more of a scrapbook person less of a personal journal type person... but next month/year who knows? :)
4. are you kidding me? days like those?? no moms around there?? oh hunny... 50% of EVERY SINGLE DAY is me trying to get grayson to be fit for human interaction. and it ain't pretty... :)
xoxox
Ebeth--The trouble you are having is so normal. I was not a stay at home mom and I had nights and weekends like that. I so admire you for staying home. Kaycee cried hour upon hour from the time she was four months old until over a year. I tried everything--finally we found out she need tubes for her ears. You are not alone. I just wish you could find other moms close to you to share! Love you! Aunt Gayle
ReplyDeleteWell, personally I'm saying prayers now that I will survive baby #2's infanthood as I found the first few months the first time around pretty challenging!
ReplyDeleteI remember my "LORD!" moment very clearly. Mason was about 2 months old and I was so sleep deprived that I told Dustin I was going to just alternate between staying at my parents for a week and his parents for a week so the Grandmas could take care of the kid and I could get some sleep! Anyway, one particularly rough morning when I'd gotten like an hour of sleep the night before I just threw up my hands and said out loud "Lord, I need help!"... and there might have been a "now" at the end, not quite sure :). I couldn't believe it when my Dad then came walking through our door, literally within half an hour (out of the blue, without a call or anything). He said the weather was too bad to work so he decided to spend the day with us. What an answer to prayer!
Thanks Ladies :) Like I said, I KNOW I am not the only one, but I am all alone down here at the moment. I have four friends that are pregnant right now so soon I will and I am sure that I will be telling them exactly what you are telling me :) Lauren, I hope you know that I wasn't talking about your blog specifically... it was more of a general statement.
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely not alone. Being a SAHM is hard. But thankfully the good moments outweigh the bad and make the rough days completely worthwhile. There are days though that Aiden makes me feel like I may be losing the battle of raising a Godly, responsible and loving man. It is so easy to get focused on the "what I am not getting done" list, instead of the "what I will take the time to enjoy today" list. It is something I have to remind myself of daily.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty Elizabeth! Being a mom is difficult. The most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire life - and I'm sure it won't get any easier! I admire (and am quite jealous of the fact) that you are a stay at home mom - I don't think stay at home moms ever get the credit they are due. I know that I CRAVE time with my daughter and the fact that I only get to spend 2-3 hours with her on weekdays really wears on me but it also wears on me that some of those days the 2-3 hours are filled with screaming or fussiness, or just a crabby baby. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is be happy and be proud that you get to stay at home with your little sweetie (and sometimes, not so sweetie) and know that you are not alone in the "LORD?!" moments! In fact, I just had one last night... actually I had a few of those moments last night =)
ReplyDelete(By the way, congratulations on the new house!!)