Reflections and Hopes

I hope this post is not as long as I foresee it being. I do not plan out what I am going to write on my blog,  most of the time. These things usually just come to me and I go with it. And speaking of plan.... I have finally come to the conclusion that I am NOT a planner. I have decided that there is a distinction between being a organizer and a scheduler compared to a planner. I like to organize and schedule my days, but I do not like to plan my future. This is why I am not a "New Years Resolution" kind of girl. I just don't like to plan my life or set goals. That sounded really horrible and lazy as I was typing that... but it is true.

 I like to take life as it comes and I know that if I set a goal for myself, it will most likely never happen. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't aspire and hope for things in my life. I do have dreams. But here is the deal, God's plans are so much bigger for me then I could EVER dream up for myself. I want to be open and ready for them as they enter my life. I know that God has something really awesome planned for me... I have known it for a long time. I can't figure out what it is..... I have tried. All I know, is that one day he is going to use me in some way beyond what I could ever plan for right now. I honestly wait in great expectation to see what it is. It really is amazing how much you discover yourself as you grow older. I have always felt that I know myself really well, and I do, but I grow and change and discover parts of me that I have never known.

So, as I have said, I don't do resolutions.... nope, sorry. I have, however, spent some time reflecting on 2010 and pondering about what I want to see in 2011. My first thought was, "2010 royally SUCKED and 2011 better be a year of serious blessing and easiness". Stop. NO, that is not what I want. Yes, it was a really hard year and in all honestly the past two years really haven't been that great, but if it hadn't been for these past couple years, I would not be the person I am right now. God has changed me SO much and it has been extremely painful, but I never want to be that girl I was two years ago. She was suffocating in small town Nebraska, desperate for God to stir in her heart. Man, I wish you could see how my heart has changed! The love and trust in my Savior has grown to a depth I never knew existed... or at least thought possible in my own life... and I DESPERATELY wish everybody could feel it.... experience it for themselves. Yes, I pray that 2011 brings blessing and peace, but not to the point where I become complacent in Christ. I will take every challenge that comes my way, if that means I will know my Savior better. Amen and Amen.

Here is a short running list of my prayer for 2011:

• That God would continually stretch me and that my trust in him would grow ever deeper.
• That I would parent with grace
• To be a model for my daughter and future children
• To get involved.... specifically at church (ok, here is the deal. In  k-town, I felt a little pressured to be involved in EVERYTHING at church... and it wasn't even a pressure that came from my parents. In Houston, I/we have sort of taken a step back and refreshed our hearts. It is now time to get back to business)

Here is to 2011!!!