The Trenches

      Parenting is hard. Most overused and understated statement of the year. It is though... it's really hard. I stood in my dining room today with my hands clasped over my ears saying, "I can't, I can't.... I just can't". I felt like an eight year old little girl about ready to drop to the floor kicking and screaming in a tantrum. Just what we need around here is another person acting like a child. But y'all, sometimes I reach a point in my day where I just can't deal with it anymore. I can't deal with the constant neediness and "mom, mom, mom".  It wears me out and I reach a point where I almost feel overstimulated. You know, like, if I hear one more sound I might just rip my own ears off. Does anybody know what I am talking about?

      I need space and solitude; I am pretty sure that's the introvert in me. Unfortunately, introvertedness doesn't just disappear when a child arrives (it's probably made worse). I need time to unwind from the constant noise and chatter, but I feel guilty when I do. I feel guilty because I feel like I'm failing them. I should be better at this, you know? I should want to answer the million questions and take Brandly potty for the third time in 10 minutes. The truth is that some days I just want to hide in my room while the TV messes up their brain development (I mean can't they give us just one thing). 

        It's real and it's raw. I'll never pretend to be something I'm not. Instragram and Facebook may paint a pretty picture, but it's not real life. I guess I could have taken a picture of me with my ears clasped and eyes squeezed shut, but in those moments your just trying to make it through.

     So, here's to the mommies of real life, deep in the trenches. I feel your pain, struggles and insecurities. Take comfort in knowing there is one mommy who is right there with you and a Savior who is there to see you through! I'm sending out a metephorical "CHEERS" to you. So raise your sippy cups and drink to better and brighter days ahead!